Food Adventures
21st Century Gruel
This appeared in a slightly different form in the Daily Mail
It’s always fun, if pointless, to take the curmudgeonly kids-today-don’t-know-they’re-born approach to children’s eating habits. In Victorian times, kids would have given their left arms to eat fish and fresh veg, stuck as they were with classics such as stoved howtodies, lamb ciste, lumpydick and fish custard. The most famous Victorian kid, Oliver Twist, ate the following in his workhouse: “three meals of thin gruel a day, with an onion twice a week, and half a roll on Sundays”. And along with his fellow inmates, he wolfed it down, even asking for more. His basic gruel was just a little oatmeal soaked in water, and other than the occasional onion, that was pretty much it.
Gruel was a hearty porridgey broth made from a starch such as oats, rice or potato, and allowed to soak before being boiled (and sometimes strained). As a nod to Oliver (both the Jamie Oliver and the Twisty Oliver), here’s a modern version of gruel. It is to be served with a miserable countenance and the refrain ‘think yourself lucky’.
Gruel with chicken nuggets and Wotsit croutons
A bit like a miso soup, with a single chicken nugget and a few damp Wotsit croutons to tease your kids with what they’re missing. Serves four thoroughly miserable children.
| ·1 |
1 litre water |
| ·2 |
200g groats (crushed and de-hulled oats – use oatmeal if you can’t find any) |
| ·3 |
Salt |
| ·4 |
Large knob of butter |
| ·5 |
4 horribly small pieces of chicken |
| ·6 |
Flour for dusting, mixed with salt and pepper |
| ·7 |
Butter for sautÈing |
| ·8 |
Bag of Wotsits. |
Mix the groats/oatmeal and water in a saucepan. Simmer gently for 20 minutes. Meanwhile, dust the chicken nuggets with the seasoned flour and sautÈ gently in some butter until crisp. When the groats are done, add a pinch of salt and the butter, then serve into bowls. Float the chicken pieces on top, and scatter a few Wotsits on each.
If you’ve had any strange and wonderful food adventures that you’d like to share, please send them to research@thegastroanut.com
